May 11, 2016
It seems here lately I have been in a constant bad mood and angry all the time and everything seems to set me off. I grew up angry and always being angry for me its just me.
I don’t like talking about myself when I was younger mainly because it brings back a lot of awful memories. Memories of getting teased, laughed at, and of being bullied. Then not being able to do anything about it. The day I left for college was the first step of walking away from that hellhole. After my parents split I had no reason to ever go back and I will never step foot back there. I wish I knew what I know now back then, but such is life.
I am starting to think that maybe my anger is a reaction to being scared. Something happens and it scares me in some way. I often fear losing control, looking foolish, being in trouble, or maybe even getting hurt. Maybe my anger is in response to being afraid of something. It’s that whole fight or flight concept happening. Anger is the fighting back at what scares me.
There’s a great quote which says, “Anger is a chosen response to the feeling of powerlessness. Anger is how we attempt to reassert control over situations that baffle us.” I am feeling helpless over something and I use anger to try and regain some sort of control in my life. What I mean by “I use anger” I am meaning self loathing, being angry at or even prejudiced against myself. I constantly call myself an asshole to my friends. That’s normally my response to every thing “cause I am an asshole.” I just find myself always reverting back to my negative thinking ways.
I will bring up bad memories from the past of things that I did wrong or when I had made bad judgments. It’s really hard for me to try and move on from past mistakes. I am always saying in my head, “I should of did this” and “why didn’t I do that instead.” I beat myself up over things I can’t change. Some days I am like Alice in Alice in Wonderland where she finally thinks she is on her way home to security, when the broom-dog wipes away her trail in Tulgey wood.
I have started exercising 3 days a week and it makes me feel less angry and less out of control. It makes me feel good even though my legs, if they could talk, would beg to differ. Hell even just sitting here writing this blog post; getting stuff off my chest has made me fell better. That probably means I should post more often.
First step is always admitting there is a problem, the next step? Well I will get back to you when I figure that out.
May 5, 2016
I have started my trip to the core a few days ago. Its gonna be a slow ride it seems as its been two days and I have not gotten to pick up where I left off cause now that the 2.1 beta is out I’m gonna have to try that out.
This was the the only interesting system I had come across. it had one planet with some sizable rings.
which had the icy moon I have been sitting on for a couple of days now.
Check back often for more updates as I get back in to the saddle of playing Elite: Dangerous. However before I get back to my adventure I will be checking out the beta.
Until then CMDR Spoofshadow signing off…
April 29, 2016
Stuff about life; from someone who claims to be an adult
There will be many challenges, obstacles and curve balls thrown your way. Just try to take life as it comes. Don’t fight against the current because you’ll just wear yourself out. If there’s a door that is standing wide open for you and another that you’re trying to get through by knocking it down, sometimes it’s best to take the door that’s already open for you. In other words don’t try to be someone/something you’re not.
Learn how to budget and manage your money, how to open a checking/savings account, and how to use credit wisely and live within your means. Your future self will thank you for it. Buy quality items you can keep around for a long time to come, not cheap crap that breaks that you’ll have to buy again in a year. Invest in yourself, your education, your personal improvement, your health and your relationships to others.
You cannot put Dawn dish soap in the dishwasher.
Life is about change; don’t fight it and just go with it. Learn from your mistakes and grow. Let go of things you can’t change. Sometimes change will be so painful you will want to rip your heart out, but you’ll be okay if you just hang on and know that no matter what happens, you will be alright.
Sometimes, you will think to yourself, “F*^$! I have so, so much to do, and neither the will nor the energy to do any of it.” At this moment, there are two options:
- Go get back in bed, thus letting others and yourself down, or;
- Harden the f%^& up.
As far as I’m concerned, “harden the f%^& up” is one of the central tenets of adulthood. Because some people get things done in a functional, systematic way even when they don’t feel like it, and some people don’t. And I know what kind of person I would like to be.
Unless you’re one of the lucky few who already knows what their passion is and what you really enjoy, you will be spending a lot of time trying new things and figuring out what you’re good at and what you like. Don’t be afraid to try new things and fail at them; failing builds character.
Speaking of plans, keep them loose and flexible. It’s good to have an idea of things you want to accomplish and where you want to be a couple years down the road, but honestly no one knows what’s going to happen tomorrow, let alone 5 years from now. It’s fine to make some plans but be flexible and willing to change them.
It’s OK to take a minute and feel completely overwhelmed and maybe even go cry in the office bathroom a little bit. You don’t have to feel guilty for having these very reasonable emotions. But then you need to splash cold water on your face, and go get shit done.
Nothing lasts forever. Enjoy every moment that you have. Enjoy life and practice being present in the moment because it goes by extremely fast. There will be both good and bad times. The bad thing about up is there’s always a down. It’s important to really enjoy and savor the good moments in life because you’ll need those memories to reflect back on when the bad times come.
When you’re a teenager, you’re just at the beginning of your life’s lessons. Life is the toughest teacher you will ever have. “Life is a cruel teacher. She gives the test first, then the lesson.” Life will throw everything that it can at you; it will try to break you and choke you until you can’t breathe, but you can’t let it.
Let Go of Expectations
Love More and Keep Your Heart Open. Love is all that really matters in the end. Give of yourself more than anything. Try to be patient, empathetic, understanding, caring and gentle with other people. Get to know people better by asking questions and listening attentively. People usually like to talk about themselves and questions are a great way to get conversations going. Love people for who they are, just as they are, and realize that everyone is a work in progress! Life is a continual work in progress. We’re all just trying to find our way, and we’re all confused and looking for contentment. Life is a journey, and happiness is not a destination to arrive at, but a way of living.
No seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher.
If you do accidentally lapse and put Dawn in your dishwasher, run it empty and put hair conditioner where the detergent goes. That will clean it out (tip given to me by College Custodian when I lived off campus during my college years and roommate did the thing)
March 7, 2016
I am not going to post all my Screen shots in this post. You can visit the complete imgur album Instead. I will however touch on some shots I thought were pretty awesome. I started my trip in Eravate my home system. I made my way to the witch head nebula and then from there I went to the running man nebula and then onto Barnard’s Loop and through it.
I discovered quite a few new objects.
There were several Binary star systems that I visited the one pictured below what not a bad one about 100 ly later I jumped into one that put me between the two stars that were a lot closer than you seen in this one and it fried my ship a bit thankfully I came prepared with heat-sinks and was able to escape with minimal damage that was repaired by my AFMU.
On my way to the witch head nebula I found my first water world. I had hoped it was an earth like but alas it was not. Pictured is a terrestrial water world with an active water-based chemistry and carbon-water-based life.
once passed Witch head and into the orion nebula and running man on through Barnard’s Loop I stumbled upon some neat gas giants.
On may way out of Barnard’s Loop I decided to visit a know location of a black hole and this was the major reason I had to end my trip so short it had a planet orbiting it and apparently that means the planet is going to be a very high gravity planet and I belly flopped my ship.
At this point I was 900 ly from my home system. That is 30 jumps with my ship. so with 3 heat-sinks left and 40% hull left and about 1/4 or my repairs left in my AFMU I plotted course to head home. I think my next trip will be to Sagittarius A* I believe but is going to take some time planning and preparing myself for the trip out there. as it will probably take me longer than just 4-5 days.
March 4, 2016
I am at about 1100 light-years out now. I made it to the Witch head nebula. It was Fun watching as I got closer and closer to the nebula. It started out as a small dot in the distance and grew as I got closer. This is as close as I will ever get to exploring the universe in my life time so I am going to explore it for as long as I can.
Also started my way towards Orion’s Nebula. Then on to Barnard’s Loop
I found some binary planets. just rocky and high metal content nothing real special but they had a neat orbit path.
I also came across a gas giant with some pretty impressive rings.
That was about the highlight of my trip yesterday. For the next few days I am going to explore the area I am in so look for more screenshots to come. until then I will be basking in a blue-white star with this little guy all by ourselves. Fly Dangerous CMDRs o7…
March 3, 2016
Elite: Dangerous can be very Daunting when you are a new player and you have not idea where to go or what to do well I’m gonna help you out with this short and sweet beginner guide.
If you have horizons and choose surface start (horizons sidewinder), you will start at Asellus Primus This is a good starting system.
If you chose New Commander you will start at LHS 3447.
First thing you want to do is get out of (LHS 3447) and never look back.
Eravate system right next door has stations under 200ls away from its star – Cleve Hub, It currently also one of the busiest areas of space. Eravate is also controlled and protected by the Player group Adle’s Armada.
Kremainn system has ringed planets with RES(resource extraction sites) for combat bounty hunting, It also has stations close to its home star. Kremainn is now a player controlled anarchy system
LTT 18486 and LTT 3572 systems are close by and has RES(resource extraction sites) for bounty hunting.
Starting out can be hard, Space is big and there is a lot to explore, trade, mine and kill. Elite has a very steep learning curve and there is quite a few guides online to show you the ropes, grab some coffee and have a watch of a few of these while you are playing through the tutorials of the game 🙂
Obsidian Ant is a good youtube channel for anything elite related.
Frontier Developments to catch up on current updates and Educating ED is a good series.
Scott Manley An Astronomer, he doesn’t play elite exclusively but he brings a great scientific perspective to the table.
Troa Barton does good walk-though instructions for the game.
Kornelius Briedis – from Latvia
SquidofLove, Commander ChaosWulff and Ctopare also frequent uploaders
There are many others
Here are some useful links for trading/exploration/bounty hunting/mining/ship information/galactic news so on
Tune into to Radio Sidewinder or or LaveRadio for great music and Galnet updates
Also if you run out of fuel. Call the Fuel Rats
March 3, 2016
I have headed out to start exploring the galaxy. On this day i have made it nearly 510 light-years out from my home system of Eravate. I want to make my way out to Barnard’s Loop which is like 1700 light-years out from where I started.
So i fitted up an Asp Explorer and set out on my journey.
My load-out allows for me to jump nearly 30 light-years in a single jump makes for getting where I want to go fast. so it only took me 19 jumps to get 510 ly out. and here I am basking in that star.
and here is my current star map its hard to tell but the red is where I normally stay. The white is discovered systems. My trip will be the green dots you can barely see them at this time. The yellow dot is my home system and the purple dot is Sol. stay tuned for more updates.
January 18, 2016
If you read the official forums and/or the sub-reddit you will find it full of people asking what your ship progression should be. I didn’t follow the advise and I am glad I didn’t.
When I first started playing E:D I started out with a sidewinder, Just like everyone else.
The Sidewinder is the default craft offered throughout the game. and if at any time the ship is destroyed you can get a free Sidewinder. New players who still struggle with learning the game, may find themselves flying in a Sidewinder for a longer time or going back to it often.
December 29, 2015
This is a simple recipe one that I modified for myself. It is suitable for almost all diets except those of you that are celiac. I have not tested this with a flour suitable for a celiac diet. if you do experiment though I would love to hear your results.
Update: I have since halved the amount of sugar in this recipe and the bread is that much better. the original recipe i modified called for 2/3 cups of sugar this left the bread more dense than I wanted. it was still good just not as springy as I was hoping for also update the photo to be the proper subject as the one i first used was made with white flour not Whole Wheat.
- 2 cups warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C)
- 1/3 cup white sugar
- 1 1/2 tablespoons active dry yeast
- 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 6 cups whole wheat flour(non enriched)
- In a large bowl, dissolve the sugar in warm water, and then stir in yeast. Allow to proof until yeast resembles a creamy foam.
- Mix salt and oil into the yeast. Mix in flour one cup at a time. Knead dough on a lightly floured surface until smooth. Place in a well oiled bowl, and turn dough to coat. Cover with a damp cloth. Allow to rise until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.
- Punch dough down. Knead for a few minutes, and divide in half. Shape into loaves, and place into two well oiled 9×5 inch loaf pans. Allow to rise for 30 minutes, or until dough has risen 1 inch above pans. You can also just throw them on the oven stone without the pans if you have one in your oven this is what I do.
- Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 30 minutes.
October 9, 2015
The devices have only been around for a decade, but already they have so fundamentally infiltrated our day-to-day that for many of us, life can be broken down into two distinct eras: before and after the advent of the smartphone. Most smartphone users I know have said at one time or another “I can’t imagine my life without a smartphone.” On its surface, that’s a dramatic (and vague) statement. The thing is we could live without our smartphones. I like many others choose not to. I could use all the web apps that go side by said with my phone apps and use my laptop that I carry around with me everywhere. My phone however is and will always be more convenient than my laptop or carrying around a calendar/planner and pen. We are addicted to our smartphones. Our phones, more so than our tablet devices and notebook computers, are the culprits behind our insatiable need to keep abreast of everything that’s happening around the world.
Things have gotten so bad that we now check or use our phones at dinner, in the bathroom, while driving, at the movies and in bed. For the majority of smartphone users, our phone is the last thing we check at night and the first thing we reach for in the morning. Many of us have chargers that double as a carrying case while others carry their chargers with them in the event their phones die from overuse. Yep, we are addicted to our smartphones!
A Gallup poll (JULY 9, 2015, of only 15,747 U.S. adults) showed that of that group 81 percent of smartphone users keep their phones nearby for the entire day, and 72 percent report checking the device hourly. Which honestly, seems like monumental restraint (writing this, I checked my phone for a text alert, to use the calculator, and just…. because).
My device has become my constant companion; I rely on it to wake me up in the morning, get me where I need to go, keep track and notify me of my appointments. It plays an important role in keeping me connected wherever I am in the world. I text family and friends with important messages (e.g., “I’m running five minutes late” “Where are we meeting?”), I conduct business on my phone, use it as a GPS, listen to music and I take pictures to capture everyday moments. like this video of the crazy Ginger kitty.
However, at 9pm every night my phone goes silent, it stays on, but it does not make a sound I only started doing that about 2 years ago. I could physically feel the relief from being untethered to my smartphone. It almost felt like freedom. I wasn’t beholden to the people texting me, calling me or updating their social media platforms. I could hear my surroundings instead of the monotonous sound of my notifications.
It wasn’t easy at first. Whenever I would receive a work email even off the clock I would feel that I would need to take care of it. My at work switch never shut off. I would be distracted and was never happy with anything. For the first week I caught myself still checking my phone constantly for something I may have missed. But then I accepted my new reality, after about 4-5 days. My world didn’t fall apart because I wasn’t productive every second of the day, and wasn’t on top of every message instantly. I actually survived not immediately knowing exactly where Crimea was or who won the Oscars last year. Shocking, I know.
When our lives are always connected, being disconnected for just a few hours can be a relief. This was my experience, however you will not be seeing me out and about without my smartphone.